“The pain is only temporary, but being saved by amazing grace is eternal…”
My name is Emily. I’m 17 years old & this is my story.
I was saved on June 19, 2013 at church camp over the summer. 2 weeks before, I attempted suicide. My entire sophomore year I struggled with bullying every single day. I would revive death threats, letters telling me to kill myself & that they would If I didn’t. I was constantly called fat, and I was a healthy 170lbs at 5 9″. They put posters around the school saying, that I was a “Fatty Oink! Oink!” It tore me down and the school always found a way to put my problems aside.
I became bulimic and I stopped eating. I would cut myself to help take away the pain. I lost 40 pounds in 2 months. I felt I was loosing this battle within myself. I felt I had no where to turn. I had been attending the same church since 7th grade. We have a very strong church family, but ever since our Pastor committed suicide due to his bipolar disorder, no one was the same. I was lost and I felt I had no one to turn to.
When I was at my lowest point, I remember telling myself, “Maybe [our pastor] was right for leaving this cruel world. I want to be in heaven. Where there will be no more pain. No more sorrow.” I was standing on the roof of my house with the rope that was attached, and I said a prayer. I cried out to God, “If there is some reason that I need to stay, some reason, then give me a sign. I’m worn out. I hate myself. Everyone hates me. I want to be with you, Lord. To live in eternal peace.” I stood there looking into the sky crying.
I reached down to grab the rope, and when I did, a swarm of yellow jacket bees attacked me & I tripped off the roof & landed safely on the trampoline. I was stung 8 times, & I realized, those 8 stings represented the 8 people in my life who have stood by me in the hard times, those that need me. My family, friends & church family. I knew that was God’s sign telling me that it wasn’t time for me yet. I am a strong woman in Christ and without prayers, support & reading my bible, I wouldn’t be here today.
My name is Emily, and I am a fighter against bullying and I want to tell anyone to NEVER give up.
There’s always hope in the future. It WILL get better. Jeremiah 29:11. You ARE loved & you ARE worth it!! Jesus loves you & so do I. (;