After many miscarriages I was trying to process God’s role for me on this 3rd rock from the sun. Kids were my life! I was a teacher, a church volunteer, an aunt and a mom with empty arms. One particular Sunday service I went to the altar to pray. As I poured out my broken heart to my Savior I saw this scrawny baby boy being held mid air above my body. He looked so tiny. I was so confused. Thinking I was just so distraught over a recent miscarriage I continued praying, asking God to help me just Live! To attend the next church baby shower and not stay home and cry. To be happy for my sister and her many children. Again, this image kept popping up during my prayer. Finally, I was like “Ok, God. Is there some sick baby that needs help? I hear this whisper on my heart “Noah is yours. Call him Noah”.
I took that proclamation and held it in my heart, only sharing it with my hubby. Two months later, thinking I had the stomach flu (since doctors had assured us infertility was permanent), we were informed we were expecting! In awe, in shock, we took to our knees in gratitude. 8 weeks later, we learned there were twins! As I took to my knees again, thanking God for moving in impossible ways I just kept repeating “not one, but two!!!!” and again I felt this impressed on my heart “simply because I love you”. I truly felt God gave us two babies because He is just cool that way!
The twins were born severely premature. Noah came out first, looking EXACTLY like he did in the image I saw when I was praying. That day, we named him Noah. God had used Noah since then to reach out to others in such a unique way. The way God called Noah in Genesis, God has called my Noah to trust him and just Believe!
Kelly was born second. A princess. However, she was not alive. The nurses shielded around her and made a wall so I couldn’t see her lifeless body. I kept begging to see my princess. An older nurse, turned and looked at me, a tear sliding down her face. She moved inches to give me a view and mouthed “I’m sorry.”
Kelly was gone. Her body still. My heart sunk. On the happiest day of my life, I felt like someone had literally ripped my heart out of my chest. It hurt to breathe. I began saying “Please Jesus. Please help me.” Then after some time passed a small choking sputter. Then a sharp breathe. She was alive! It was literally like watching a resurrection. It was God ordained.
Kelly survived. She was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy as a result of oxygen loss at birth. We were told she may never walk, talk, or know I am her momma. God said “that is NOT my plan.” Kelly is a freshman in college, pulling a 4.0. She sings for Jesus from her stylin’ zebra print wheelchair. She is the healthiest child we have (yea, God went on to give this infertile mom 5 kids!!!!). Kelly spends her days grateful for the wonderful life she has. She has overcame so many surgeries and thousands of hours of physical therapy.
She is a fighter. She is my hero!