I was 12 years old when I found out I had scoliosis (curvature of the spine).
At the time it didn’t mean much to me as I was just given a few exercises by the physiologist who had diagnosed me. When I had got my x-rays back I was told I might need a back brace, so I was referred to a specialist. I didn’t want to have to wear a brace so every night when I went to bed I would pray “God please heal me, please make it so I don’t have to wear a brace.”
I was so upset when I was told I would have to wear a brace 22-23 hours a day. My whole world was shook up, I didn’t like this brace, it was uncomfortable, it gave me bruises, it was extremely hot (being that I lived in Cambodia at the time). I couldn’t understand it when God hadn’t answered by prayer, was it because he didn’t love me or was it something I had done?
8 months into wearing my brace (now back in the UK) I had an appointment with another specialist who told me I would need surgery to fix my curve; I was distraught. Again I turned to God saying “please heal me”. I prayed this every night but it didn’t happen and I ended up having surgery.
Going into the hospital I was only expecting to have one surgery and to stay a week but because of complications I ended up having two and stayed 2 1/2 weeks, one of which I was bed bound not allowed to sit or stand up let alone walk. I’d always expected it to take me a while to recover and be ‘back to myself’ but I only imagined it would happen… when the months kept going on and the pain didn’t get better I started to question what was happening, so did the doctors. Since this time I have tried many different treatments, had millions of tests, had more surgery but I have never had any answers. I rely on 5 different pain killers just to get me through each day.
There have been so many times in this journey where I have questioned God’s actions but I have come to see He has His reasons for letting me go through this.
I don’t profess to always see these reasons but He is God and he knows best!
I don’t know where, when or how but I am holding on to the hope that one day I will be healed.
‘I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope.’ Psalm 130:5
I’m a fighter and one day I WILL be HEALED!
[This post was submitted anonymously.]