When I was 16 years old, I got the news that would change my life and affect my future. I found out that I had MRKH Syndrome. MRKH is short for Mayer-Rokitansky-Kuster-Hauser. Those are the last names of the four doctors that discovered MRKH. A girl who is born with MRKH, has an undeveloped reproductive tract. So a woman is unable to carry her own child, but is able to have a child through surrogacy or adoption. This affects 1 out of 4,500 to 5,000 girls.
I remember coming home from a school trip and my parents sat me down and said that they wanted to talk to me. They told me the news and I felt confused and didn’t know exactly what to do. I had lost a dream that about every single girl has, and that is to be able to feel her child grow inside of her. At age 16 I was faced with decisions, that a “normal” 16 year old wouldn’t have to face, so I grew up faster, (but that’s not all bad).
I fell away from God, and asked the famous question that most people ask when something is wrong. “why me”? Then I saw the movie Soul Surfer a couple of months later. I left that movie feeling like I could relate to Bethany Hamilton. Losing something. But Bethany didn’t give up, and she put her trust in God! I left the movie feeling better, and tried really hard to trust. The verse that struck me in the movie was Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. Plans to prosper and not harm you. Plans to give you hope for the future”. My relationship with God got stronger and that summer I got baptized.
My senior year of high school is when I really embraced MRKH and realized that God made me the way I am for a reason. One day I stumbled upon a Youtube video and that was the first time I’ve even come in contact with another girl just like me, someone I could relate to with the same insecurities and struggles. Her video really spoke to me and she had really good points in her video. One was God had a plan and I have heard that, but this time it really did sink in. She also said we have to trust God and let him have control. I really took in what she said in the video.
Almost everyday, I fear the future and what it holds for me. I know that there will be roadblocks in my life, but everyday I have to keep reminding myself that God has a plan and to trust him, which is very hard to do, but if I didn’t do that I would be living in misery and would be stuck not going anywhere in my life. I have to trust that one day I will get married to a guy that accepts me the way I . I had to learn to give God all of my fears and worries, that he will take care of me.
Now 19 years old. I have embraced MRKH. I finally realized that God created me in his image, and that’s all that matters. I realized that MRKH makes me unique and beautiful. There are rough days, but I believe everyday living with MRKH it gets better. It may not be ideal, but MRKH is something that I am now thankful for. It made me closer to God. I have made a ton of connections with other woman from around the world, there’s a foundation called the beautiful you MRKH. MRKH is getting more awareness out there, I have supportive people around me, and the list goes on and on. I have learned so much about myself these past three years and wouldn’t trade my experience. It can be so easy to give up, but I will show MRKH who’s boss, live out my dream whether it be through surrogacy or adoption and fight like there’s no tomorrow.
My Name’s Abby and I’m a fighter!