Always A Fighter

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My name is Shamar and I’m from South Africa. I’m 21 years old, going on 22.

I don’t quite know how I came across Jamie Grace but I never miss her videos because she inspires me everyday. When I was younger in school I was always the secluded, quiet, shy girl. I was lonely because I was scared of talking to people. I became severely depressed because I didn’t like myself. I felt so unworthy and that’s when I started the dark journey of suicide.

My mind was messed up, I thought all kinds of stuff, even though it wasn’t true. I hated myself so [much and] for a long while I was suicidal. [I worked hard to get out of it, and one day], I accepted Jesus.

[Now, when] watching Jamie Grace’s videos, it makes me feel like she’s my big sister (I’ve always wanted one) and because of [how she share Jesus], I’ve learned to have confidence in myself.

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Tough Love

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Before I start, I’d just like to say that my best friend has been more the fighter here than I have, and I’ll be respecting her privacy in this post, but I’d like to share what I personally have learned through this experience.

A few months back, my friend needed to talk to me. I tend to be the peacemaker in most circles. Y’know, the one who doesn’t take sides and people come to when they’re upset. My friend, Ally, was very upset about how her “best friend” Jessica, treated her. I didn’t get too much detail, but I was able to calm her down, give her some biblical advice, and cheer her back up. Well, as this was done on Facebook Messsenger, Jessica saw I was online and messaged me. I didn’t mention Ally, of course. But then, I found out why Ally had been so upset. Jessica was blatantly saying she hated Jesus and was threatening suicide if we told anyone. I tried to call Jessica three times. After no answer, Ally and I went to get our parents. It was 3am. Ally and her mom went to Jessica’s house, while my parents and I urgently prayed, feeling utterly helpless.

Eventually, we found out that Ally and I had been the victims of a sick joke. After that, Jessica continued to try to play the victim, and attempted to take everyone she could down with her.

Jessica eventually left our school community for another school, where she claimed her “real friends” were.

In the midst of this disaster, Ally and I have become almost like sisters. In fact, even though we look almost nothing alike, people have mistaken us as such! I’ve learned through this that sometimes, love is hard. I still love and pray for Jessica, not in spite of, but because of what she did to Ally and I. And from the ashes of that relationship, a new one has arisen, and this one prays for the reforging of the old one every day. At the age of 14, I’ve learned some very important lessons since that July night I spent looking at my phone in disbelief, shaking with fear. Please pray that Jessica feels the power of God, and learns the true power of forgiveness.

Thank you for reading and praying.

*Names have been changed for the sake of privacy.

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